I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
