So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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