We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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