this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
