Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
