You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
