Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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