party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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