smell my finger.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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