all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I came so hard my ears popped.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize