There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
