STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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