I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
