I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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