How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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