I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
