Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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