So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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