Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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