Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
