he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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