my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
