i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
