my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
thus making me awesome and them whores
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
