I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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