And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
