Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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