i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
