so explain again why im purple
no
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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