he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize