So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
