Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
