Where did you get a picture of my penis
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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