Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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