i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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