seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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