I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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