Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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