Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
