jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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