Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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