she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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