she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
