I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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