Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
