There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
