..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
