He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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