Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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