Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize