I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
