If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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