dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry about my life...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
