Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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