people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
