You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
