you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are we still banned from the library?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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