I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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