it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
how does that bad decision feel?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
