hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize