Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
