She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
