There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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