This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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