I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
