i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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