Dual....:-)
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
