white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The best revenge is premature balding
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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